Obsessed Tourist Marries Dolphin

Here’s a happy story about true love. An Israeli millionaire tourist recently married a captive dolphin in a formal wedding ceremony. There’s something fishy about this wedding though — I mean did the dolphin really love her for HER, or did he just want her for her money? When asked to comment, the woman repeated that she is "not a pervert" — PHEW! I’m glad she emphasized that point because otherwise I might have had my doubts. Anyway, what I really want to know is: was it a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony or not, and if it was, how did the dolphin crush the wine glass? Do they even let people bring glassware into the pool nowadays? I thought you could only bring plastic cups to the pool. What kind of operation are they running down there anyway? Well, if you ask me this marriage probably won’t last: I think couples should live together for a while before getting married.